Super Bad Mood!

I lost already. Very very bad mood. What to do to my life??? So many question marks on my mind... what should I do? Where should I go? No idea... don't know...After 15 years served as a  teacher and now in polytechnic, what I get at the end? I love my students and I delivered  my knowledge to them. Teach them on how to face the challenges of their life. But at the end... whatever... I don't want to stay alone. Most of the time I tried to learn and update myself. Again...who am I?